Crystal Balls... not yet

I'm pondering my future. What does God want me to do? I've been involved with the homeless in Dallas pretty intensely for the past couple of years. I know God is leading me in different directions. I have a hard time just being still. Already this week, I've been thinking about checking out the homeless hang outs in Fort Worth this weekend.

I know I'm supposed to stop for a moment, and spend the time seeking God. But I have a hard time just sitting back. I don't feel like I'm being a profitable servant if I'm just "going" to church.

This is a time of transition and preparation. I really don't know what for yet. I actually prayed God I'll go anywhere for you. I've never had a desire to do foriegn mission work, yet I've actually become open to the possibilities. When I see kids dying of AIDS or starvation, it hurts me.

Of course I'm also touched by what is happening to children in the Appalachian mountains in our own nation. In some areas it's almost like having a third world nation within the borders of one of the most blessed nations on this planet. It really baffels me. When I see the feed the children commercials, I want to pack up my car and head out.

So on one hand, God is really continuing to touch my heart for the poor.

On the other hand, I believe that the church has lost touch with its supernatural heritage. I come from a pentecostal/chairsmatic background. I read the Gospels and the Book of Acts and drool. Oh where is that kind of power in the church today. They believed God and God did miraculous signs. In the last couple of months I've made it my mission to pray for sick people. I've seen some healed. Nothing dramatic yet, but I'm believing God. Last Saturday evening at Awakening Church, I had a word of knowledge about a back problem. It wasn't a big deal really. We had a guy who had been bowling and his back was sore, bothering him some. We prayed for him, and the soreness left immediately. We prayed for a number of other people. I don't know the results yet, but I am believing God.

God has always done the supernatural. Why not now? If Jesus was glorified in it in the Gospels and the Book of Acts, why is he not glorified in it now.

So part of my life mission I believe is to see restoration of this in the church.

I've even thought of buying an RV, going into poor areas, hanging out, preaching the Gospel, praying for the sick and starting new gatherings.

If I went this direction I would

1. Get to hang out with, minister to and preach the Gospel to the poor.
2. Be part of the process of seeing the supernatural power of God at work in the church.
3. Discipling people
4. Starting new gatherings - The RV could be the starting hub until a home in the community is found.

Well that's just thinking out loud. God didn't say that's the way I'm going. He hasn't said much yet. But that's kind of on my heart right now.

Lakeland Day 3

Our third and last day in Lakeland we experienced the change of venue. That was the first night in the new venue out near the airport.

Again I had to wrestle with the whole church pastor/leader special line thing. It ticked me off, but I was able to release it to God again and I asked the Lord to bless those men.

The new venue was interesting. It's like a tent with an aluminum frame. But it was cool, they have plenty of air conditioning. I hated the seats. I'm a big guy and the chairs they are using just felt flimsy. But it wasn't a big deal.

During worship, I began to press in again. I wanted the authority and faith to do miracles, to heal the sick. Just what I was watching - just what Jesus told us we would do. I had contended or this the night before and I still was.

Then the Lord began to speak to me. He told me "I want to teach you the supernatural power of Love." I know it seems shallow, but my reaction was to reject it. I didn't want to hear that. It isn't what I wanted to hear. God has been working on me about love for years. That's part of the reason I've been involved in ministry to the homeless. I need power that works quickly was one of my arguments to God. Love is slow. Love is painful. Love hurts. I have learned many of those lessons. I just want to be able to have faith to declare healing and see people healed.

Frankly, I didn't have a clue what God meant by the supernatural power of love. I argued with him. I cried. I just didn't want to hear it. Then it was like he spoke inside and said that he knew I was having problems with it. Would I be willing to let him make me willing to go that direction.

I cried for a while before surrendering. I said yes. But what does it mean. I don't know really. It's the start of another journey I believe. In his goodness, he didn't reject me for my initial refusal and he didn't rebuke me. I felt him loving me.

I really didn't pay any attention to most of the rest of the evening. Todd Bentley and his teams layed hands on everyone (ever so briefly - there were several thousand of us), but that really didn't seem to impact me. I was trying to process what the Lord had said.... I still am. I've asked.

I think God used the Lakeland experience to bring me to a transition point. I know I'm not the same and by God's grace I will go back for a longer period. I had such intense fellowship with the Lord. Maybe he'll talk to me more.

God is moving in Texas too.

I spoke with Joseph, leader of Awakening, a house/simple church I'm part of. While I was in Lakeland, God showed up powerfully. A new person came to the gathering and as I understand it, she manifested some demons. She was ministered too, the Demons were cast out. If that wasn't enough, another lady in the gathering, while they were ministering to and praying for the first lady was instantly, and soveriegnly healed of partial deafness in one ear. No one was praying for it. She wasn't praying for herself. God just did it.

Tuesday evening, I had the chance to go to a meeting in a house. I'm not sure that it is a "house church." I believe it was just a wonderful couple in Jesus who want to see God doing wonderful things. I believe that God exceeded everyone's expectations. See my view of it here.

Lakeland Day 2

I've been back from Lakeland Florida for about a week now, and I'm still processing everything that happened in me there.

All of the miracles of healing excite me. But something seem to come more alive in me. I experienced more of the awe of God and the love of God.

The second day I just felt caught up with the Lord, and that seemed to permeate the place. It was the last night at the Lakeland Arena. The worship time was intense. At the usual time, David T. tried to transition out of worship... but the people there wouldn't have it... God wouldn't have it. He just had to step out of the way and let the worship continue.

I honestly don't know what happened on the platform that night. I was too caught up in my time with the Lord. I also began wrestling with him on the supernatural. I am convinced that we need the supernatural power of God for ministering to people, especially people on the streets, they need to have hope - and another sermon isn't going to give them what they need. They need some of the demonstration of the Kingdom of God.

I've wrestled with God before. I wrestled with him when I got saved. I've wrestled with him at other times. I will wrestle with him until I get what I'm after or he transforms my heart. I began wrestling with him. I want the annointing to command sickness to leave. To command the lame to walk and see it happen, to command addictions to leave and wholeness to come to a person and watch it happen.

I prayed, I cried. I was undone about myself. I had two words from others that night that I don't know. One lady told me I had faith. Another man prayed for me. He asked if I was a minister. I told him about the street church. He said that God would increase my love and the ministry would explode because people would see the love.

I really didn't think too much about those words at the time. Day 3 kind of changed that. But that's another post.

Lakeland Revival (florida outpouring) Day 1

It was a long trip through the night Friday night. We arrived in Lakeland, Florida about 11 am on Saturday.

We stopped by our hotel. We wouldn't be able to get into our room until after the meeting that night.

Honestly, that put me in a pretty bad mood right there. I knew check in was at 3pm, but they said it would be 4-5 before they could have a room ready for us. That mean I would be going to the meeting without a shower for nearly two days. That didn't make me happy at all. We stopped someplace to eat, I excused myself and went into the men's room and cleaned up the best I could.

Hopefully, I didn't smell too bad. God used that to give me a little lesson. It was that I would let something like that affect my attitude to the point that I would not be able to receive from him.
So I determined to let it go.

When we got to the arena at about 3pm, there were about ten people there before us. Several people were praying for a lady. She had been deaf for fifty years due to a fever she had as a child. It was interesting, a demon actually manifested. It was cast out. Then the lady could hear. She pulled out her hearing aids and several people tested her hearing, making sure she was not reading lips. Her husband explained how long it had been since she had heard. While she wore hearing aids they were almost useless. She relied more on reading lips than the hearing aids. She began to hear singing. She went up and down the line looking for the source. She couldn't find one. Some speculated that maybe God was letting her hear in the spirit. That is speculation. We don't know. Maybe when God healed her physical ears he gave her spiritual ears. I don't know, but she was extremely excited. She was also excited because she had a numbness in her right foot that she had for years and it went away as well.

Of course I couldn't just keep rejoicing for this lady. One of my pet peeves acted up and it took a fair portion of the evening to get over it.

Everyone we talked to said the presence of God was strongest up front. However, even though people showed up early, the only people that got up front were the internationals and "pastors and senior leaders." So while most folks who were hungry for the Lord waited hours in line, the "pastors" got their own line and got to go in half an hour earlier getting the best seats of course

I could have done that well. I had the necessary "credentials" but I won't do that on principal. There is not supposed to be a clergy laity split. I know the reason for this. The folks leading the revival will say they want to encourage pastors to come, get an impartation and take it back to their churches.

I'm a bit of a skeptic about this. I've seen this in charismatic circles all too often. I think it is designed to bring favor with Pastors so they will 1. support the revival and 2. perhaps encourage them to think of inviting the leaders for meetings at their churches later. I really believe that's what is going on. I hate that. If pastors are really hungry, they can come stand in line like everyone else.

Anyway, I really got ticked off about this, almost to the point of not even wanting to go in. I hate the whole laity-clergy thing that I was quite ready to say the heck with it. I prayed asking the Lord to help me with my attitude. I really felt like he said this wasn't his doing, but there would be no difference between what people received "up front" and what they received elsewhere in the arena. He didn't care where people were sitting. He was after one thing only, hungry hearts. Whoever was hungry would receive.

With that, I was able to enter into the worship. God was true to his word. Some of the young people decided they weren't going to sit on the sidelines, they went outside and started praying for people and laying hands on them. I got blessed in a major way and most of it that night was from young people - kids as young as junior high students who were ministering with power.

Was everything done "of God." - No. Some was flesh. There needed to be some wisdom, but these young people were full of zeal, love, and a desire to see God do great things and God did.

So Day 1 was an interesting day with a lot of opportunities for me not to receive what God had for me. In the end I was blessed.

Lakeland Florida Revival

There's lots of talk in some circles about the "revival" in Lakeland Florida. I don't know if it is a revival, outpouring or what, but after watching for several nights I am convinced that Jesus is at work.

I experienced the strong presence of the Lord several times, almost overwhelming. My focus was not on Todd Bentley or others "leading" but on Jesus himself. I've experienced a level of intercession and worship that I hadn't experienced before. In a very powerful way I feel like I've met Jesus again.

Is it God? Whatever is of God will stand. Whatever is not of God will not. Revivals tend to be messy business. You have what God is doing, then it gets mixed in with the works of the flesh and unfortunately often the enemy sends in some stuff too. That's why we have to ask God to help us discern what is of him and what is not. Never -Never accept that because some of it is God - all of it must be God. It just doesn't work that way. Remember the parable of the wheat and the tares.

I do know God is doing a mighty work. People who have been sick a long time are getting healed by their own testimony. There are notable miracles where Doctors have said there is no hope and yet God has intervened.

There are hundreds coming to Christ. That is obvioiusly Jesus. I'm sure that Satan is not going to be involved in efforts to lead people to Jesus. This is some of the greatest victory.

While there has been lots of focus on angels and one called Emma in lots of posts, I've not seen that much mentioned of Angels in this revival. I've probably watched about seven or eight nights now. I did hear Todd Bentley mention something of seeing the Angel of the Lord one time and that was to point out a woman to be prayed for. The vast majority of the time, he keeps pointing to Jesus. That's critical.

I know Todd Bentley has gone into some wierd doctrines before, but I haven't seen that happening the nights I've watched. It stayed focus on Jesus the healer, Jesus the saviour, and Jesus our Lord. I think Todd has experienced a change. If so, I'm thankful.

As for some of the physical manifestations people see that seems wierd. Church history is full of it. Some of it is God, some is flesh and probably some is Satan as well. Don't let the physical manifestations of someone else keep you from experiencing what God has for you. Don't focus on them. Focus on Jesus. It's not a show for you to watch.

How do we know that we won't be exposed to deception? If your heart is focused on Jesus. If you honor him and his word you'll be fine. What are you seeking? If it's more of Jesus. That's what you will get.

We have the promise from Luke 11:

9 “So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. 11 If a son asks for bread[d] from any father among you, will he give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent instead of a fish? 12 Or if he asks for an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? 13 If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!”

I am not comfortable with everything that has happened in Lakeland. I certainly am not comfortable with all who have been involved. I believe some have had some terrible theology and it concerns me. However, I believe Jesus is there. That's what I'm going for. More of him.
Can I get it sitting at home? Possibly. But there seem to be times when the veil between the Kingdom of God and the Earth seems a little thinner.

So I am going. I want to experience more of his presence.