Thursday, June 5, 2008

Lakeland Day 3

Our third and last day in Lakeland we experienced the change of venue. That was the first night in the new venue out near the airport.

Again I had to wrestle with the whole church pastor/leader special line thing. It ticked me off, but I was able to release it to God again and I asked the Lord to bless those men.

The new venue was interesting. It's like a tent with an aluminum frame. But it was cool, they have plenty of air conditioning. I hated the seats. I'm a big guy and the chairs they are using just felt flimsy. But it wasn't a big deal.

During worship, I began to press in again. I wanted the authority and faith to do miracles, to heal the sick. Just what I was watching - just what Jesus told us we would do. I had contended or this the night before and I still was.

Then the Lord began to speak to me. He told me "I want to teach you the supernatural power of Love." I know it seems shallow, but my reaction was to reject it. I didn't want to hear that. It isn't what I wanted to hear. God has been working on me about love for years. That's part of the reason I've been involved in ministry to the homeless. I need power that works quickly was one of my arguments to God. Love is slow. Love is painful. Love hurts. I have learned many of those lessons. I just want to be able to have faith to declare healing and see people healed.

Frankly, I didn't have a clue what God meant by the supernatural power of love. I argued with him. I cried. I just didn't want to hear it. Then it was like he spoke inside and said that he knew I was having problems with it. Would I be willing to let him make me willing to go that direction.

I cried for a while before surrendering. I said yes. But what does it mean. I don't know really. It's the start of another journey I believe. In his goodness, he didn't reject me for my initial refusal and he didn't rebuke me. I felt him loving me.

I really didn't pay any attention to most of the rest of the evening. Todd Bentley and his teams layed hands on everyone (ever so briefly - there were several thousand of us), but that really didn't seem to impact me. I was trying to process what the Lord had said.... I still am. I've asked.

I think God used the Lakeland experience to bring me to a transition point. I know I'm not the same and by God's grace I will go back for a longer period. I had such intense fellowship with the Lord. Maybe he'll talk to me more.

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